Author: Eric J. Sobolik
Genre: Young adult/supernatural/comedy
How long it's been on sale: 08-08-2011
Current price: $2.99
Marketing: Marketing so far has been family and friends, reviews on Amazon, and sending book review requests to many independent book review blogs.
Total sold so far: 63
Link to book on Amazon: Zombie Love: The Outbreak (Book 1)
Product Description:
Zombie Love is the story of a widespread virus, in a way that has never been done before. As people lose loved ones, some decide that sometimes the people you love are the only ones worth fighting for. As factions form, and the world crumbles, people must choose sides. Help or destroy.
When a virus is developed as the ultimate cure all by reversing death itself, the world is plunged into a crisis of faith, dedication, and love.
In book one we meet Summer Strom, a normal high school teenager who is thrown cruelly into a set of circumstances that nobody should have to deal with. She has to fight back against everybody she knows as she battles for the only thing worth fighting for. Love.
First 300 Words:
Prologue
Sam Eckhart was alone in his office, enjoying a fine single malt scotch. A little liquid pat on the back for a job well done or, as his superiors put it, “a scientific breakthrough of biblical proportions” when there was a knock on his door.
“Come in.”
In his head, Sam was comparing himself to Jesus. What he had accomplished was nothing short of a miracle and he knew that there would be a religion someday that praised him. Eckhartism or something like that. His new assistant cleared his throat, interrupting Sam’s fantasy. The boy was an acne covered little brat, and not only on the face. Sam had seen the kid in a t-shirt before and judging by the horrible red pustules covering his arms and neck, Sam could just imagine what the rest of him looked like, as hard as he tried not to. He had not liked what he had imagined. Now though, the bright red bumps were extra crimson, contrasting brightly against an almost translucent skin.
The boy opened his mouth and said something. Sam just shuddered, thinking about the kid naked. He almost felt sorry for him, but was more so disgusted by him. The kid spoke again.
“Sir, are you okay?”
Am I okay, thought Sam. This pre-pubescent punk did not have the faintest idea of what Sam had accomplished this night. Sure, it had taken him almost thirty-five years, in addition to the failed relationships and the deep self-loathing, but it would be worth it for this.
“Sir?”
Sam snapped back to reality. He realized he had better respond or the kid would just keep blinding him with his pale skin and his pimples glaring like burning spots of teen awkwardness.
"What?"
"Sir, I just asked if you were ok?"
Vicki's Comments: The photo on the cover is very fun! I wish it were in color, but I am willing to overlook that because the picture is so clever. I'm not fond of the box with the title and author in it. I would re-do that part. But I do like the eye-catching photo. It suggests to me that this book is funny, maybe even a parody, and that the story is light and whimsical.
The description needs help. I would start with Summer Storm, and what her problems are. Be more specific. Language like, "thrown cruelly into a set of circumstances that nobody should have to deal with," doesn't give me an idea of what her challenges are. I want to know the plot, to figure out if I want to read it. What circumstances does she have to deal with? What does love have to do with it? Who does she love, and what stops her from loving him? (I assume by the picture on the cover that she falls in love with a zombie. Make that clear in the description.)
I like the beginning of the book. If I were to nit-pick, I'd have to say that it might need a little trimming. For example, "He had not liked what he had imagined." This is implied in the previous sentences, and therefore isn't needed. If I were to tell you I could just imagine what donky hair icecream would taste like, I wouldn't have to say that what I imagined isn't pleasant. There are a few other instances of this in the first 300 words. You don't have to hit the reader over the head with what you're trying to say. However, I did enjoy the beginning of the book and I probably would read on if it were sitting on my Kindle. If the entire book were repetitive like this, though, I would put it down.
I would suggest tweaking the cover, making the title and author name look a bit more professional, probably directly on the photo. If you can, I'd put the photo in color. I'd also tighten up the blurb. I think those two things will help you sell more books.
What do you guys think?
Hated the cover, but that's not to say it's not a good one. I'm just not a fan of zombies.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if I were a fan, I would say it's a pretty good cover. It does need a little color. Is there any way to colorize the girl but leave the zombie B&W? It would really give a good contrast between the living and the dead. (May I shudder again?)
I think Summer needs to be the focus of the blurb. What circumstances is she thrown into? Which side is she on? Why is she the central character?
The first 300 words are pretty good and, if I liked this sort of thing (which I don't), I would continue reading.
Sorry, but I don't like zombies even if they are stand-up comics. :))
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe cover is cool.
ReplyDeleteThe description is too tell-y. Don't tell the reader what the book is. Show them the story.
In the first 300 words, you managed to make me hate this character so much that I wouldn't read on.
Two reasons:
In the first place, Sam's an arrrogant schmuck. I could forgive that, presuming he's about to receive a kick in the you-know-whatsits, but...
I cannot forgive the judgement-filled description of the boy.
First off, acne occurs in boys well into the teenage years, so he's more likely to be 17 or 18. That's not pre-pubescent.
Secondly, as someone who suffered a fair bit of it in those years, I can assure you that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, and Sam's whole judgement of the boy based on that one thing to do with his appearance raises irrational ire in me. I'd fling the book across the room.
Sorry. It's probably just me, but you totally overdid the hyper-insenstive-bastard-unsympathetic character for me.
I had the same reaction as Vicki to the cover. I think you're going for the feel of a black and white "I Married a Zombie" type movie that was highly popular in the 50s and 60s, but with a parodic twist. If so, and that's why you chose b/w, then showcase with a font that does what those movie posters did (dripping red font, etc.). But I'm not sure your YA audience will get it, so I like the suggestion to colorize the girl and keep the zombie b/w if you can. Definitely don't like the boxed author name. It isn't playful or horror-oriented. If you wanted to keep the boxed effect, I'd suggest that you frame it like a school book report, using the title as the report title and the author name like a byline. I think that could appeal to your YA audience.
ReplyDeleteYour description needs to be specific and hook-y:
[Zombie Love is the story of a widespread virus, in a way that has never been done before. As people lose loved ones, some decide that sometimes the people you love are the only ones worth fighting for. As factions form, and the world crumbles, people must choose sides. Help or destroy.] Distanced. Cut.
[When a virus is developed as the ultimate cure all by reversing death itself, the world is plunged into a crisis of faith, dedication, and love.] Vague. Cut.
[In book one we meet] cut
Summer Storm, a normal high school teenager, [ who is thrown cruelly into a set of circumstances that nobody should have to deal with. She] *add something like: only wanted to find a date for the prom, not save the world from zombies. Too bad. Someone has unleashed a virus that reverses death itself, and now has to fight back [against everybody she knows as she battles] for the only thing worth fighting for. Love.
A book blurb should use strong and evocative words that speak to the readers of that genre (unleashed/virus/reverses death itself speak to the zombie crowd; only wanted to find a date for the prom/save the world from zombies/too bad speak to the YA crowd. Read some blurbs for books similar to yours and look for some relevant and evocative words for your book.
The opening annoyed me, but that's not relevant because the opening of most horror movies annoys me :-) You capture Sam's personality really well. But since I want to know about Summer Storm and her voice, I can't speak to whether I'd keep reading once I'd gotten to see the world from her perspective.
Good luck with this.
Eric, I went to Amazon and read the sample. You need to hire a copyeditor (it is tow-headed, not toe-headed, which brings an image to mind that I'm pretty sure you don't want :-).
ReplyDeleteYour action is interesting and wry at the same time (at least in the sample I read). A good copyedit will likely make sampling readers give you a shot and improve your sales figures.
Thank you all for your comments. I plan on taking (almost) all of these into account, especially re-working the cover, and working on the description or summary.
ReplyDeleteDoes anybody know if I can make the sample read on Amazon different? Like a different section as opposed to the Prologue. I feel that the prologue is not an accurate representation of the book itself.