Tuesday, October 16, 2012
A Singapore Love Story
Author: Low Kay Hwa
Genre: YA Romance
How long it's been on sale: June 2012
Current price: $.99
Marketing: KDP Select Free Promo, Requesting reviews from readers on Goodreads
Total sold so far: 31
Link to book on Amazon: A Singapore Love Story
Listed as a national bestseller in Singapore for about half a year, A Singapore Love Story charts the tragic relationship of a couple trying to be together, ignoring the harsh knocks of reality. Can they bend reality for love, or will reality bend their lives?
Since the beginning of time, people have wondered how powerful love could be. Can love transcend beyond the necessities? Can the melody of love be louder than the noise of reality?
The novel seeks to ask a question: Is money one of the requirements in a marriage, or is it just one of the options?
Price of book will be increased after 10,000 downloads.
First 300 Words:
Changi South Avenue 3
On 7 August 2008, I slipped while I was showering. And I died.
I was supposed to be married on 8 August 2008. We had planned to see snow in Japan for our honeymoon. Everything had been prepared; we were just waiting for the big day. But I had to die one day before the wedding dinner.
I was reaching for the shampoo. It was placed, somehow on that day, farther than usual. I tiptoed forward, my eyes half-opened as the water from the shower head rained on me.
I had heard stories about what drivers felt during a car accident. Slow, yet uncontrollable. My death was almost identical. Once I lost my footing, time moved in slow motion. I fell forward. My hands swung around to grab something but found nothing. Before I could do anything, I saw the white blameless wall just inches in front of me. My hands tried to push the wall away. But my head hit the wall—and the crack of the skull was like a cue that told time to resume its normal course.
It was a precise hit.
There was a sharp pain. When I bounced off the wall, I anticipated another impact. The next crack struck the back of my head. The pain abated, a ray shimmered, and finally, darkness took over.
Hours later, I woke up and realized that I had died.
Yet, not quite.
The colours of kismet are just black, and white. Or white, and black.
Let’s experience the growth of the two hearts caged by winter acquiescing to the warmth of summer—from different points of view.
I was molested when I was seven years old.
It was the first day of school. As Daddy drove across…
Comments: The cover looks paranormal to me. It makes me think the girl is a ghost. The design itself isn't horrible, but I do think it could look more professional. I think it's the photo treatment. The fonts look fine to me. I don't like the yellow sticker on the front. Take the sticker off, and just put the type directly on the cover. I think with a few tweaks, the cover could look more professional.
The blurb is confusing. You can mention the best seller status, but keep it short and sweet. "A national best seller in Singapore!" Then move on to the book description, which is sadly lacking here. There are words, but they don't tell me anything about the characters, and what they need to overcome. What starts the story in motion? When they meet? What obstacles are in their way? Family who doesn't think they belong together? Or do they get in their own way? (She won't look at him because he doesn't make enough money.) The blurb that is here is way too vague. Give the readers details, or they won't know if they want to read the book or not. If they don't know, they'll move on to something else.
The beginning is confusing too. We start at chapter five? Why? Is that a typo? It's probably not a great idea to start the reader off wondering where the first four chapters went. Ignoring that part, I do see that the main character has died. This is probably why the girl on the cover is a ghost image. I would definitely not forget the "Paranormal" in there when you market the book. YA Paranormal Romance is a popular genre. Don't forget to mention the part about the paranormal or you're shooting yourself in the foot.
The writing sometimes feels choppy, like a translation, or as if it was written by someone whose first language isn't English. It's not horrible, but there are a few times where I got a bit confused as to what was meant. I would hire a native English speaking editor to go over it once more. The story itself is interesting, and I do think this book has potential. It's just not quite there yet, in my opinion.
I would suggest hiring a cover artist to really make the cover look YA Paranormal Romance, it needs more of a dreamy feeling to it. I would also get help with the blurb and one final edit to make the sentences flow in English. What do you guys think?