tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post5775166893104104353..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: Henry Wood Detective AgencyVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-69532545735074037712011-10-04T17:34:07.201-07:002011-10-04T17:34:07.201-07:00Shaun,
It is okay that you don't care for ...Shaun,<br /><br /> It is okay that you don't care for my writing. :-) I still appreciate you taking the time to add your comments to the discussion. Each person's unique perspective is helpful.<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-42949582806738737762011-10-04T17:31:59.432-07:002011-10-04T17:31:59.432-07:00Jenny,
Thanks for your thoughts. I should prob...Jenny,<br /><br /> Thanks for your thoughts. I should probably read any future blurbs out loud. Had I done so, I would have noticed the 'it' problem.<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-75174938305008873052011-10-04T04:55:53.535-07:002011-10-04T04:55:53.535-07:00As most issues have been mentioned, the only thing...As most issues have been mentioned, the only thing I can offer is that the very first sentence doesn't read right to me: "It isn't the weather, or the city, or the cars passing that strike Henry." The way it's written made me think that one of the elements, 'weather', 'city' or 'cars' want to physically strike Henry! That would put me off reading further I'm afraid.Shaunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17951707293674263179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-50389756768743342522011-10-03T19:59:17.460-07:002011-10-03T19:59:17.460-07:00I actually really like the cover. I also like the ...I actually really like the cover. I also like the premise. What jars with me is the first 3 sentences starting with "It." Too much telling and no showing. With a little tweaking, I think this might be a good book...and yes, it is really tough to write your own blurb.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10384070533603453713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-47966982752077878812011-10-03T17:47:30.701-07:002011-10-03T17:47:30.701-07:00Brian, don't feel bad about your blurb. It is ...Brian, don't feel bad about your blurb. It is really hard to write your own blurb. I don't like mine at all. :PMeiLin Mirandahttp://www.meilinmiranda.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-29835148338080156892011-10-03T16:39:17.942-07:002011-10-03T16:39:17.942-07:00Krista,
I am going to write a new blurb...one ...Krista,<br /><br /> I am going to write a new blurb...one won't kill you or cause you harm in any way. :-)<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-70390207420790825842011-10-03T16:38:16.092-07:002011-10-03T16:38:16.092-07:00Michelle,
I hadn't thought about your fir...Michelle,<br /><br /> I hadn't thought about your first point. It is a good one. I am in agreement with everyone that the blurb is horrible and I'm going to work on it tonight or tomorrow (likely tomorrow, work wiped me out today).<br /><br /> On another note, someone who read all of the discussion here, sent me a tweet and said they had bought a print edition of Henry. So thanks everyone for helping get a sale.<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-8627428499556959012011-10-03T16:22:33.313-07:002011-10-03T16:22:33.313-07:00Brian - wow! I wasn't reading too much into th...Brian - wow! I wasn't reading too much into the cover after all. That's a first. But, seriously, I love the B&W look and the 50s nod. For me, that appeals to me. It's that blurb that's killing me, man.Krista D. Ballhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13735832053631141449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-41926952992309248202011-10-03T05:42:17.311-07:002011-10-03T05:42:17.311-07:00One thing that bothers me is that you seem to be h...One thing that bothers me is that you seem to be hammering home the theme that your main character sees in black and white and is going to get a shock when he discovers the world has shades of gray. I think that is a marvelous theme; however, I don't think you should use that as a selling point for your book. (And I say this as a fellow writer with a *very* bad habit of doing the same thing myself!) The potential readers don't want to be struck over the head with the idea that 'this book has a message'. No, they want the action. They want to know more about how Henry tangles with "The Knife". Don't let your theme take center stage here. Sell your conflict, your setting, your unique character, but not your theme.<br /><br />Actually, this looks like a pretty good book! And, maybe it's just me, but 98 copies since the end of July doesn't sound very bad.Michelle Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05345377357560724790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-64298409625142962992011-10-02T21:06:44.181-07:002011-10-02T21:06:44.181-07:00Joseph,
You make a number of valid points. Th...Joseph,<br /><br /> You make a number of valid points. The last bit of advice is the most important. And I have, quite unforgivably, done a horrible job in publishing the sequel in a timely fashion. Not only have I finished the 2nd book (69K words), but the 3rd as well (76K) and am 40% of the way through the 4th.<br /><br /> I need to stop writing and start editing. You have reminded me of this and I appreciate it.Extremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-36230999920289478772011-10-02T21:03:42.803-07:002011-10-02T21:03:42.803-07:00Carl,
I think that the comments people have ma...Carl,<br /><br /> I think that the comments people have made are valid, though the cover does look a bit different on the print version. https://plus.google.com/116061117763797622731/posts?hl=en<br /><br /> Thanks for taking the time to help me out. I agree with those who gave the blurb a thumbs down. I'm going to work on it.Extremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-79225926549776924062011-10-02T20:58:23.341-07:002011-10-02T20:58:23.341-07:00Margaret,
I actually struggled with several di...Margaret,<br /><br /> I actually struggled with several different type styles. You may be right, I might have chosen poorly. I appreciate the feedback.<br /><br /> I am in agreement with EVERYONE who says the blurb is dreadful. I found writing the entire 50K words easier than the stupid blurb. Writing the blurb seemed like bragging or something, which is just stupid. It is important, but for some reason it made me really uncomfortable and thus, it stinks.<br /><br /> I will definitely be working on a new one.<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-51089768161236170092011-10-02T20:54:54.398-07:002011-10-02T20:54:54.398-07:00Krista D Ball,
When I did the cover, I based i...Krista D Ball,<br /><br /> When I did the cover, I based it on the work of several of my favorite Art Deco designers. I chose the B&W because I imagine the 50's being in black and white. It was a nod to that era and the films I still love.<br /><br /> In truth, I like your idea about a door with frosting on it. That is a good suggestion. Thanks.<br /><br /> I had thought I might keep the basic cover and add more, changing from B&W to other two tone colors as I move through the series. Of course, the final book (Likely 5) would be in Dodger blue. Now though, it seems that there is enough opposition to the cover, that I may need to reconsider. I'm glad you liked it though. :-)<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />BrianExtremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-82213158953726458432011-10-02T20:33:45.202-07:002011-10-02T20:33:45.202-07:00Cover - Sorry, but it looks like a default selecti...Cover - Sorry, but it looks like a default selection from a cover gallery, not an intentionally designed cover at all. It doesn't catch my eye at all.<br /><br />Description - Too many hooks, too many characters. You need to refocus on Henry and more of the action of the book. Is he a smart detective? A dim brawler? A lady's man? I have no idea what sort of detective story I'm getting into here.<br /><br />Opening - I like the voice and I think it has a lot of potential, but it feels almost like a Chandler pastiche instead of an original book.<br /><br />Other - 98 sales in two months is a great start, though I see from your sales rank that you haven't had any sales lately. You have good reviews. Get a snazzier cover and think about lowering your price for a while. And publish a sequel as soon as you can!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-995801186514533502011-10-02T20:11:47.126-07:002011-10-02T20:11:47.126-07:00I actually like the cover, but it's a bit hard...I actually like the cover, but it's a bit hard to tell in the format that it's presented. I like the B&W because it evokes the feeling of the old detective shows, and feels stylish at the same time. Perhaps the cover could be redone, but in keeping with the same feel? If it were me, I'd add a gun or something below "Detective Agency" to punch up the cover and add a little visual interest. I'd also make the author's name a lot bigger.<br /><br />The blurb is too long, and could be tightened up considerably. I do like the tone it brings, and the setting. I think you've got the noir feel down, but it needs some trimming.<br /><br />Keeping the correct tense can be hard sometimes. It feels natural to switch from present to past tense at times. It's something you need to watch carefully. One mistake can throw a reader right out of the story. <br /><br />I don't read noir fic, but I actually think you're on the right track. It need some clean up, but the writing isn't bad, and really calls to mind that period of time.Carl Daughertyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09679539023104518309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-88238563727155269562011-10-02T19:38:35.138-07:002011-10-02T19:38:35.138-07:00The cover is so film noir and I love it for that r...The cover is so film noir and I love it for that reason. But, the text is barely readable and there's nothing interesting about it. Nothing to catch the eye. Perhaps a Monroe type image on the cover would help. Look at the Mickey Spillane covers. You can still have B&W, but add color with the font. <br /><br />Of course, you also got me with the mention of my beloved Bums, but that's a personal manner.<br /><br />The blurb started out really well but then ended up too long. I think the last paragraph can be left out. <br /><br />I like the beginning, too. So typically mid-century. <br /><br />You've gotten a good start with 98 copies in two months. Hopefully, you have another one in the works. A series like this can really take off.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-38428134790487196182011-10-02T18:41:24.153-07:002011-10-02T18:41:24.153-07:00I suck at visual stuff, but something about design...I suck at visual stuff, but something about design reminds me of the old fashion black and white detective show, with the detective's name stencilled into the front. <br /><br />I'm reading too much into this cover, I know, but that's why I'm liking it :D Then again, I might like it more if it was the actual door with frosting LOLKrista D. Ballhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13735832053631141449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-67129918965283779152011-10-02T18:01:31.683-07:002011-10-02T18:01:31.683-07:00Great suggestions. I appreciate all the help. I ...Great suggestions. I appreciate all the help. I didn't much like the blurb I wrote either. I should probably read a bunch of blurbs and then give it another go.Extremely Averagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12091831282668222931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-77607297073255812452011-10-02T17:41:24.858-07:002011-10-02T17:41:24.858-07:00Hi Vicky,
I noticed there were few comments for th...Hi Vicky,<br />I noticed there were few comments for this novel yet and I just wanted to tell Brian Meeks that everyone respects your "right on" comments and suggestions so much that there is little to add.<br /><br />It is clear that the black and white cover is meant to reflect protagonist Henry Wood's nature and even the different shades and the dividing lines work toward that effect; but there is a huge space between the words Detective Agency and the author attribution at the bottom. It calls for a design, a picture, or some small splash of color (too obviously red, so go with orange or yellow or lime green or ... something unexpected.) The human eye loves color.<br /><br />I would also add that 98 sales isn't a bad start! Best of luck.<br />Gail BaugnietGail Baugniethttp://gail-baugniet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-35731793744613211462011-10-02T17:26:40.209-07:002011-10-02T17:26:40.209-07:00The cover doesn't bother me.
The description...The cover doesn't bother me. <br /><br />The description doesn't work for me.Krista D. Ballhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13735832053631141449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-44366950957672504252011-10-02T17:26:10.400-07:002011-10-02T17:26:10.400-07:00This is a hard-boiled detective story, right? The ...This is a hard-boiled detective story, right? The cover is so hard-boiled it's lost all its flavor. :) You might want to get some professional help.<br /><br />The blurb needs severe tightening. Lose the dateline. Having your hero "about to be" anything isn't a good idea either in writing or blurbs. "Little does he know!" styles of writing don't work. Don't ask questions in your blurb.<br /><br />The writing could use some tightening too, but it's not horrendous.<br /><br />You obviously have a story. There's definitely a readership out there for hard-boiled detective stories--98 sales at this point is fantastic, really--but my feeling is they're expecting something more compact than this, both in the writing and especially the blurb.<br /><br />Start with your cover and work out from there. Good luck!MeiLin Mirandahttp://www.meilinmiranda.com/noreply@blogger.com