tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post3161099704063054173..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: Anchored to the FleshVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-34739535897685132572011-09-19T00:09:59.425-07:002011-09-19T00:09:59.425-07:00Do teenagers buy ebooks, or do their parents buy t...Do teenagers buy ebooks, or do their parents buy them for them? I don't know, I'm actually asking.<br /><br />Secondly, are teenagers familiar with Glen Cook and Joe Abercrombie? Or would it be better to say "unlike Harry Potter..."? Again, I'm just asking.<br /><br />Having 'Flesh' in big letters makes it seem to me like it's going to be sexually-oriented.<br /><br />I think the kind of teenage boy who would like this story would probably like a more over-the-top cover. Something more like the artwork for 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons: spikes, cleavage, muscles, huge swords, things on fire.anarchisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05546197561922726279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-37874930657729521632011-09-16T10:55:57.568-07:002011-09-16T10:55:57.568-07:00I'm with those who don't like the cover......I'm with those who don't like the cover...it wouldn't prevent me from buying your book; however, it wouldn't draw my attention.<br /><br />The blurb mentions two authors whom I've never heard of, so that wasn't very helpful to me.<br /><br />As for the first 300 words, I liked the first sentence, but then I got confused about who 'he' was in the next paragraph. Was 'he' Sustenega (I didn't think he was, and yet I wasn't sure) or someone else? Also, there seemed to be a lot of information dumped into the first few paragraphs.<br /><br />Personally, I'd consider deleting the first three paragraphs and beginning with, "Sustenega looked disdainfully at the farmer he just set aflame." I really love the tension in that sentence, and it would definitely make me want to read on.<br /><br />Now, after having said all of that, let me now say that of all the books on this blog, I like yours the best so far :) I'm really intrigued! Good luck!Michelle Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05345377357560724790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-14506738409628313472011-09-15T18:37:41.387-07:002011-09-15T18:37:41.387-07:00The cover very definitely does not say fantasy. Th...The cover very definitely does not say fantasy. That's the first problem. And even for a fantasy reader like me, the beginning is way too heavy on complicated names. My eyes crossed! Yeah, the blurb needs work too.<br /><br />I sympathize. I'm struggling with getting sales on my fantasies in spite of generally good reviews. I think that genre may just be extraordinarily competitive or something because my historical novels sell much better. Just a general observation. <br /><br />Anyway, try tweaking all those and then I advise a lot of patience. :)J. R. Tomlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01109874615059334200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-79917708897543262522011-09-15T18:35:59.413-07:002011-09-15T18:35:59.413-07:00To buck the trend a bit, I like the cover, and I a...To buck the trend a bit, I like the cover, and I also like the first 300 words. <br /><br />I do think that you should rework your blurb a bit, however. I think you've got a case of telling not showing there. Saying a book is gritty is simply not quite as cool as showing me how it's gritty. <br /><br />Further, I think you're burying your best stuff in the last paragraph. I'd start out with something more like:<br /><br />The only woman Silas ever loved is dead, and he's obsessed with finding the man who killed her. Silas searches for an artifact that will allow him to talk to his dead wife. Perhaps she can give him the answers he desperately seeks, and help take his revenge. But when Silas is mistaken for the killer he seeks, he must... (fill in the stakes here.)<br /><br />Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the story it seems as though your blurb is saying this book is. Put your story first, props if you can weave in some important details showing how this world is corrupt and immoral, and leave the adjectives describing what your story is like to the reviewers. :)<br /><br />Best of luck. It sounds interesting.V. J. Chambershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11187630334181727181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-87815622597602897522011-09-15T18:02:02.455-07:002011-09-15T18:02:02.455-07:00Thank you for selecting my book. As for the cover,...Thank you for selecting my book. As for the cover, it was not my intention to imply anything sexual; I consider my book to be violent pulp for teenagers, and there is very little sexual content within it.<br /><br />I name-dropped a few famous authors in my blurb specifically because I am unknown. I didn't know that was a faux pas. I do agree, however, that the blurb is awkward-sounding and I need to rework it.<br /><br />Thank you again for your input. It's hard to disagree with your commentary. I will do everything I can to improve my book.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00118335669467407166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-62618606847765477802011-09-15T15:47:32.195-07:002011-09-15T15:47:32.195-07:00I really can't add anything to Vicki's ana...I really can't add anything to Vicki's analysis. It's spot on. I'd edit the blurb (I like doing that) but I think you need to work on tightening the writing and the cover more urgently. Consider getting an editor. Even working with one just once helps considerably. If you can't afford one, find a critique group. Good luck!MeiLin Mirandahttp://www.meilinmiranda.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-86311677473192069082011-09-15T15:12:27.270-07:002011-09-15T15:12:27.270-07:00Hard to argue with the pros from Dover here.
Cove...Hard to argue with the pros from Dover here.<br /><br />Cover, wrong genre and in thumbnail almost impossible to make out. I like the font use, even tho author name is smallish. The graphic is killing you, I think. <br /><br />Blurb - yeah - "gritty" twice? Drop that whole paragraph because it's just setting you up to fail. You don't want to be Glen Cook. You want to be the guy Glen Cook wants to be. Let him come to you. :D<br /><br />First 300? I got lost in the second sentence.<br /><br />"It was his own fault." I had to think too hard to realize that "it" was the setting afire and the "his" referred to the crispy critter rather than whoever the heck you're talking about who's not the main character anyway so WTF?<br /><br />Third sentence didn't help. "He didn’t give Sustenega the information he needed, even though he gave himself away by twitching and sweating when asked where the diviner Hargold Omenstop was." Who he? Which he? Which he twitched? And again with the guy we don't expect because he's not in the blurb that brought us to the sample in the first place. <br /><br />I think you've got a great story here somewhere. Start telling it in the blurb. The sample should reel them in, and when they get to the "buy now" link at the end of the sample, the only possible response must be "click."Nathan Lowellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09485325283120491298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-57731576687941333432011-09-15T14:18:21.669-07:002011-09-15T14:18:21.669-07:00My comment got lost. Urrrgghhh.
The cover said m...My comment got lost. Urrrgghhh. <br /><br />The cover said murder mystery to me. Dead body in the field. It also looks hand drawn and has too many hard edges to be a fantasy.<br /><br />Definitely take out the first paragraph of the blurb. If the reader doesn't agree with you, you're in trouble.<br /><br />If this book is about Silas, why does it start with Sustenega? If he's the killer, then maybe you need to say that in the blurb. Does Silas come on the scene right after your 300 words?<br /><br />It's a good premise, though.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-19943385015411773992011-09-15T14:02:16.398-07:002011-09-15T14:02:16.398-07:00What Vicki said. :)
The cover almost has a horror...What Vicki said. :)<br /><br />The cover almost has a horror feel. I didn't get a fantasy vibe at all--not good for that target audience. Vicki's suggestions on the blurb are spot on. The excerpt is the best part--it's got some strong points. But if no one's getting far enough to see a sample, that won't help, of course.Annette Lyonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12493583432919249814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-66538001572792036092011-09-15T13:47:46.393-07:002011-09-15T13:47:46.393-07:00Vicki nailed it. I agree with every point from the...Vicki nailed it. I agree with every point from the cover/title to the prose. I think you can lose the city name and tighten the blurb. I was confused a little too. Silas is trying to find his dead wife, but then he's looking for a man. Is that the diviner? It's a little confusing. Also, what's the hook. It needs something else. What are the consequences of the mistaken identity? What is his journey now?<br /><br />The opening scene is good, but it needs a little more oomph! I know that can be hard when your character is a bit emotionless. But you can do it!<br /><br />Best of luck with the book.Moniquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00826740919353731711noreply@blogger.com