tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post8663668645518251899..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: The Brontosaurus Pluto Society: Magic Makes You StrangeVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-7635353615348676202011-10-05T00:28:41.953-07:002011-10-05T00:28:41.953-07:00Thanks, Shaun.Thanks, Shaun.Noah Mullette-Gillmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13982506003929657950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-56870189864530527212011-10-04T04:49:15.962-07:002011-10-04T04:49:15.962-07:00As others have mentioned, the cover doesn't po...As others have mentioned, the cover doesn't portray the books genre very well. As for the description, it reads more like a children's book. The intro to the novel was well written though :)Shaunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17951707293674263179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-24501306359798820412011-10-03T09:47:13.820-07:002011-10-03T09:47:13.820-07:00Noah - I really was hooked by the beginning. The d...Noah - I really was hooked by the beginning. The distanced feeling was just a nit-pick. Here's my suggestion: Go with your idea of changing the title and cover, fix up the blurb, and then see how things go. I'd give it some more time after that. If you're still having trouble you can look into getting more suggestions about the opening. A lot of people on here really liked the opening. I don't think I'd mess with it just yet.Victorinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-17944819531795298582011-10-02T22:53:25.705-07:002011-10-02T22:53:25.705-07:00This has been tremendously helpful. Thank you all....This has been tremendously helpful. Thank you all. I have already begun to implement changes. The book's titles is now "Magic Makes You Strange." Which is the first book in the Brontosaurus Pluto Society Saga. I am working on fixing the blurb and expect that I will replace the ebook cover. I love the artwork, but it is giving you the wrong impression as far as the kind of book it is.<br /><br />The only comment which I question, is the necessity of diving into Edward faster than I do. As 300 words is only about half a percent of the book and the free preview on Amazon extends to 10%, I would be interested in hearing if you still felt the same way after reading the whole free preview? You all seem to say that you would read on past the 300 word mark, which seems to suggest that portion does its job?<br /><br />Anyway, thank you so very much!<br /><br />Best,<br />Noah K. Mullette-Gillman<br />www.brontosauruspluto.comNoah Mullette-Gillmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13982506003929657950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-84374870969681479172011-10-02T13:01:00.230-07:002011-10-02T13:01:00.230-07:00Oh, and a PS: Get rid of the breaks in your blurb....Oh, and a PS: Get rid of the breaks in your blurb. That's why it's reading like free verse. :)MeiLin Mirandahttp://www.meilinmiranda.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-20907070883200879542011-10-02T12:58:16.524-07:002011-10-02T12:58:16.524-07:00I said it at KB but I'll say it here for the s...I said it at KB but I'll say it here for the sake of having everything in one place: Terrific cover for a print book (seriously), but it doesn't work for an ebook.<br /><br />I LOVED the first 300 words. In fact, I bought the book! The only thing I would change is the dateline. While numbers generally should be written out, this generally is not the case for years.<br /><br />The blurb: It's super close. It's a bit choppy, and it doesn't tell us enough about what Edward's challenge is. The last sentence has gotta go.<br /><br />Your sales to date are not bad at all. Tweak your blurb and change out the ebook cover, and I bet you've got a winner, especially if you put another book out soon-ish. Good luck!MeiLin Mirandahttp://www.meilinmiranda.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-1843638287135913182011-10-02T11:08:18.650-07:002011-10-02T11:08:18.650-07:00The cover: It's intriguing but I think way too...The cover: It's intriguing but I think way too busy to work as an ebook cover. I agree that it suggests a YA story. <br /><br />Title: makes me think this is either YA, or tongue-in-cheek satire.<br /><br />Blurb: didn't work for me.<br /><br />Opening: now, I'm liking it. The writing is quite good. I actually love the opening sentence, with the hat and the woman. But that kind of dry humor sure doesn't fit with the YA, heavy satire vibe I got from the cover/title. I also agree that we should get into the POV character's reactions/feelings right away.Toni Dwigginshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08966880370654948991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-52891171672509426622011-10-02T10:00:16.190-07:002011-10-02T10:00:16.190-07:00The cover looks YA to me, which I suspect is not y...The cover looks YA to me, which I suspect is not your target audience. The same with the title. I'd seriously re-think those. The description is so-so. Not terrible, but I think it could be improved.<br /><br />I liked the opening of the novel, but I would have never gotten that far.J. R. Tomlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01109874615059334200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-85666762286282827552011-10-02T02:17:12.912-07:002011-10-02T02:17:12.912-07:00From the cover and title I thought this was a YA b...From the cover and title I thought this was a YA book. Some kind of crazy, zany sci-fi adventure for a 14 year old. Especially the big bubbly letters spelling out The Brontosaurus Pluto Society. Then I realized from the description it's not. Frankly, I'd rethink both. Or at the very least the cover. Is "The Brontosaurus Pluto Society" important to the title? If not, I'd remove it as it promotes the YA feel. If it is, I'd change the lettering to something a little less ... kiddie.<br /><br />While the book itself seems interesting and well written, the description is not. It's very passive and feels a bit stilted. I would use more active power words. Also I agree about the ellipses on the end. It's confusing. Ditch it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-331982621820198542011-10-01T19:18:08.189-07:002011-10-01T19:18:08.189-07:00I found the cover very confusing and off-putting t...I found the cover very confusing and off-putting to be honest. I do like the title at the top, but at a small size it looks like there's something weird and sexual going on in the middle of the artwork. I had to lean in and look really closely to see what was actually happening.<br /><br />The cover is also very busy with too many elements.<br /><br />The blurb is okay, but I'm not sure anyone takes the term "flying saucer" seriously. It also wasn't coined until at least 1947. That may be a small and irrelevant point.<br /><br />The storyline sounds interesting though. I do enjoy stories where outsiders or neophytes learn real magic.<br /><br />The first 300 words aren't bad. There are a few things that stick out for me. To me "incandescent" is generally used to describe women, though that might be my own personal prejudice. And "almost" is a weak qualifier that you could probably omit to punch up the text.<br /><br />I'm not sure I buy the hat falling slowly and landing with a loud thunk, unless that's deliberately part of the act.<br /><br />Finally, your main character isn't mentioned until the end of your first 300 words, and he's just standing there passively. At this point the stage magician is a more interesting character, and I'd rather read about him. I'd suggest rewriting the scene from Edward's point of view and give him some conflict and an active part in the proceedings, whatever that might be. Doing something is better than standing there and doing nothing.<br /><br />Overall, it's not bad. It might sell better with a toned down cover, especially.Carl Daughertyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09679539023104518309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-53784464721604646002011-10-01T18:57:23.618-07:002011-10-01T18:57:23.618-07:00Cover - I think it's very fair for a younger a...Cover - I think it's very fair for a younger audience, but in general it is too busy and too cluttered to get a sense of the book from it.<br /><br />Title - Again, it seems very clever and interesting for a younger audience, but it's also so random (magic, aliens, etc.) that it's hard to get a sense of the book from it.<br /><br />Description - Nice and short and to the point. You could add a few more details to tease it, but otherwise it's fine.<br /><br />Opening - I like it. I like the voice and I like the story and tone. I'd keep reading.<br /><br />Other - You have 35 sales and 9 positive reviews in 2 months. This is actually a very fair launch for an unknown author. I recommend you get to work on putting out a sequel as soon as possible and just be patient.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-77215193129525522532011-10-01T18:30:13.917-07:002011-10-01T18:30:13.917-07:00I get a Terry Pratchett goes to the circus kind of...I get a Terry Pratchett goes to the circus kind of vibe from the cover. It is a bit busy and hard to see what's going on right off. Maybe just focus on the magician and the girl.<br /><br />The blurb isn't bad but I kind of got lost with the ellipse at the end. I thought, "Into the strange, what?" Then I realized you just meant into the strange which is exactly what you said. But the ellipse at the end made me think there was a to be continued on the next page.<br /><br />I liked the opening. Made me feel kind of eerie but in a good way. <br /><br />I think with a cleaner cover and some time, this book could sell well.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.com