tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post5980427895240434870..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: The Circling SongVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-14321952204079933092012-01-22T10:42:20.405-08:002012-01-22T10:42:20.405-08:00You are most kind. Thank you.You are most kind. Thank you.Russell Crusehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02602038927490034147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-32454887733649901012012-01-22T08:59:06.762-08:002012-01-22T08:59:06.762-08:00After reading the description, I feel like I want ...After reading the description, I feel like I want some more hints about what's going on. I want some assurance it's going to be science-fiction and go somewhere interesting, not turn out to be some self-indulgent philosophising literary-fiction. The opening got me wanting to read more though.DDWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-28181615974343981562012-01-22T05:32:38.179-08:002012-01-22T05:32:38.179-08:00Russell, I see what you're saying about Lawren...Russell, I see what you're saying about Lawrence referring to himself in the third person. It just might be too soon in the book to use it. I would wait until after someone else says something about it before using the reference in his journal. <br /><br />Now that I understand that, you can make it 24 sales. :)Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-55932010681198323932012-01-22T04:15:37.465-08:002012-01-22T04:15:37.465-08:00Can I thank everyone who has commented on this. I...Can I thank everyone who has commented on this. I'm certainly getting the message both about the cover and the blurb. I guess I'm probably more susceptible to the tantalising in both cover and description and attracted by the unusual. I had it mentioned to me at a seminar a while back that one shouldn't make covers too different and keep the blurb informative. Perhaps I thought I knew better! <br />The last paragraph in the opening is designed to jar. Lawrence is almost literally losing himself. As the story progresses, his tendency to refer to himself in the third person is noted by other observers.<br />Again, I thank you for pointing out that I may not have done enough for the reader here.Russell Crusehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02602038927490034147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-11837792751417793952012-01-21T22:45:28.153-08:002012-01-21T22:45:28.153-08:00I was curious so read a few Amazon UK reviews and ...I was curious so read a few Amazon UK reviews and went the authors website. Now, I understand. I think. :) Fwiw, I think the description on the author's site with a few tweaks would be much better than the current one.<br /><br />For anyone interested: http://www.russellcruse.com/the-circling-song.html<br /><br />I've always wanted to write about synesthesia, but never had the courage.Moniquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00826740919353731711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-29321688412329013072012-01-21T22:26:42.204-08:002012-01-21T22:26:42.204-08:00I'm jumping on the bandwagon here. The cover h...I'm jumping on the bandwagon here. The cover has the elements but needs more oomph.<br /><br />I assumed (shame on me?) upon seeing Lawrence, British Army and 1914 that we were talking about T.E. Lawrence. Perhaps we are? In a way? The accident was a swap? A cross portal? A twin in his place? I'm not certain, but I'm intrigued. That would also explain the third person reference to Lawrence, but... if I were an "off the street" reader, I would be confused and perhaps not in a good way. I agree that perhaps a few outside eyes to help edit could do wonders. I have the feeling there's a wonderful book lurking in there.Moniquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00826740919353731711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-41318798440936291582012-01-21T18:09:14.392-08:002012-01-21T18:09:14.392-08:00I agree with the above comments. There is a lot of...I agree with the above comments. There is a lot of good content here, but it needs help.<br /><br />Cover - Too vague, with too many subtle details, and just too many elements all at once. Pick one image to grab the reader's attention.<br /><br />Description - All over the place. I know this is a tricky exercise. Give the reader a clear understanding of who the book is about, what the main character does, and why this is a unique or compelling story.<br /><br />Opening - This should appeal strongly to a certain niche of readers who like classical, literary, epistolary books. <br /><br />Best of luck!Josephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14891299299223740869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-17944590383238353222012-01-21T16:23:01.394-08:002012-01-21T16:23:01.394-08:00I had to really stare at the cover to find the sol...I had to really stare at the cover to find the soldier, who I thought was a construction worker. I certainly didn't get historical fiction/sci-fi out of it. Using a color block for the title obscures a lot of the cover. It's just too subtle. I think the cover needs to go in a different direction. <br /><br />From the blurb:<br /><br />And Mathematics is struggling to keep up.<br /><br />Why? It's just kind of thrown in there.<br /><br />Lawrence running, also threw me since I thought it was Lawrence's journal and I had to go back to check the beginning. <br /><br />Gina, the British spell certain things differently than we do, so I don't think he's really made any spelling errors.<br /><br />I liked the beginning up until I got thrown out of the story by Lawrence running instead of "I ran" or "the old Lawrence ran" or something like that.<br /><br />I think this has a lot of potential with a better cover and a tighter blurb.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-33192205660283804002012-01-21T15:38:28.245-08:002012-01-21T15:38:28.245-08:00Ah, I see the soldier now, after Gina pointed it o...Ah, I see the soldier now, after Gina pointed it out. But I didn't know what was on the cover before that. I agree with Gina, I would work on the cover. I would get some other eyes on the blurb. Blurbs are very hard to write, and drawing the reader in making them want to pick up the book can be difficult. The writing itself I thought was good. The "Lawrence running" part was confusing to me too. I liked that the book is done with journal entries. I think it could be a powerful book. Maybe get some critiques or have an editor look it over?Victorinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.com