tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post5270293276368378865..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: The Spaces BetweenVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-74206575722886856962012-03-05T06:39:16.791-08:002012-03-05T06:39:16.791-08:00Again, thank you so much everyone for the very con...Again, thank you so much everyone for the very constructive feedback!<br /><br />At first I never had the prologue, so I think it's going to get the old axe. If it slows things down, it has to go, since I think the pacing in the middle is faster.<br /><br />Re-working the description now, will work with some others who have read it to get it right.<br /><br />Also talking with the cover designer...maybe we can figure out something a little more fantasy-focused. (I do love what they came up with though).MartinGibbshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00209473718191944980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-82220886164489352942012-03-05T06:26:38.143-08:002012-03-05T06:26:38.143-08:00Thank you, and everyone, for the great comments! O...Thank you, and everyone, for the great comments! One thing I thought as I read this is: Do I even need the prologue? At first I didn't even have it, it started out at the beginning with the main character. <br /><br />I will also re-work that description!MartinGibbshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00209473718191944980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-51896710512274167022012-03-03T18:50:46.065-08:002012-03-03T18:50:46.065-08:00I agree with all the comments.I agree with all the comments.Christopher John Chaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05142647178585900592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-86851441263959768262012-03-03T13:47:13.332-08:002012-03-03T13:47:13.332-08:00I always look at the cover and try to guess the ge...I always look at the cover and try to guess the genre before even coming to this page. I was absolutely positive this was scifi. It's a good looking cover and I would save it if I were you in case you write something in that genre. For this one, you need something that screams fantasy.<br /><br />The product description makes me think of a bunch of people milling about in this story with no real purpose. By the end, I know they're not going to save the world, but are they going to try? <br /><br />Don't make me count how many times snow or snowing or snowflakes was used in the first 300 words. Instead, tell me about this guy. How important is he? Who is he? Where is he going? What is his purpose in coming to this place?Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04832055618604176686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-5552696482712182142012-03-03T10:40:49.571-08:002012-03-03T10:40:49.571-08:00I never read books that open with the weather. It&...I never read books that open with the weather. It's an immediate stop for me. Personal taste, obviously, but it's the reason I wouldn't buy. I like your cover, though.Sarah Wyndehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02208314684112329427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-28266561074485460322012-03-03T10:29:31.487-08:002012-03-03T10:29:31.487-08:00COVER: Nice.
PD: As soon as I read the first line...COVER: Nice.<br /><br />PD: As soon as I read the first line, I started skimming. Either you’re imitating or parodying postmodern prose: “An exiled warlock sits fuming in his confinement.” <br /><br />His “confinement”? Even if you don’t mean that he’s about to give birth, “exiled” still clashes with “confinement,” because the former means cast out and the latter also means somehow imprisoned. So he’s both exiled and imprisoned at the same time? Or do you mean that he feels imprisoned by his exile? <br /><br />Whatever the answer is to these questions, I shouldn’t be asking them.<br /><br />300: I’m hoping that all this snow-talk is meant as parody of the fantasy genre with its extended opening describing minutia. If so, it might be a little too subtle; if not, you’ve got a more serious problem.W. Deanhttp://platoshead.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-55775338620045355882012-03-03T10:01:27.386-08:002012-03-03T10:01:27.386-08:00The cover is gorgeous, though I admit I am a bit v...The cover is gorgeous, though I admit I am a bit vague on what the giant dome-thing in the back is supposed to be. [Moon? Explosion? Weird magic dome?] I will agree with the other comments saying it does look a bit more SF than Fantasy to me, but in my experience a lot of readers cross over, and as the covers primary job is to get potential readers to pause and read the product description, I think it works. (Also, it's so beautiful I would want to keep it or write the book it does go with.) The title could probably be set larger, but it's not so out of proportion that it seems amateurish.<br /><br />Product description. I am fine with the first paragraph. It reads a bit like a bulleted list, but that can work. Second paragraph, not so much. I'm good with the narrator talking to the reader in books as long as they're funny. This reads like the author telling me what to think and I don't like it. Now this might just be my prejudice, but I think content meta-statements, like "blah blah blah is an intense, off-beat, dark blah blah blah" are fine in quotes from readers. However the product description itself should instead imply those properties through a short synopsis or statement of concept. (Also, I agree off-beat and dark fantasy don't go together. Not that it can't be both, but using those terms together is somewhat confusing as to what one should expect as they don't typically go together.)<br /><br />That said, the cover and the first part of the description had me intrigued enough to want to give the book a try.<br /><br />First 300: Here's where I started to feel a sale killing problem. It's kind of repetitive. First paragraph I'm thinking, okay he's setting atmosphere, I'll bear with it. By the fourth paragraph, I want to scream. Enough with the f'ing snow already, get on with it! The lines about the condition of the castle also seem repetitive, "showed little sign of wear", yeah, it's pristine, you already said that... <br /><br />Pretty much everyone out there who's read anything on the subject of writing knows the importance of the first few paragraphs. So when I read an opening like this that's in desperate need of tightening up, my automatic expectation is that the rest of the book will be long-winded and repetitive as well, and any interest generated by cover and description goes right out the window... <br /><br />The sentences in and of themselves are good, it's just there are too many focused on the same few topics. So I'd say tighten it up a bit, rework the description a bit and you should be good.DDWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-34029495775009283512012-03-03T08:46:16.294-08:002012-03-03T08:46:16.294-08:00I like the cover myself.
The product description ...I like the cover myself.<br /><br />The product description is a turn-off for me. I get that you're setting up some tropes than saying you're going to knock them down, but it needs to be a more concrete for me. Otherwise, it's just kind of me having to take your word for it.<br /><br />For one thing because you're a bit sparse with concrete detail, it's hard for me to mesh "off-beat" with "dark fantasy" story. Off-beat is often (not always admittedly) paired with things of semi-comedic nature<br /><br />I don't get if that means "dark comedy" as you've presented it or you just mean "unusual". <br /><br />The sparse detail also doesn't really detail in any substantial way how things are different from other fantasy books. I want to be shown a bit more, I suppose in the blurb in that regard. You mention they won't "save" the world, but I don't even know anything about the quest, which, I'd assume is the main thing driving the plot.<br /><br />If the strength of your story is more character interactions than plots, then maybe frame your blurb around those interactions.J.A. Beardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13866515198865656164noreply@blogger.com