tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post3848503267572041440..comments2023-02-21T00:26:51.051-08:00Comments on Why Isn't My Book Selling?: FOR EVERY ACTION There Are ConsequencesVictorinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-40189969249949771402011-07-30T08:16:02.099-07:002011-07-30T08:16:02.099-07:00I like it all and plan to buy it.....I feel that l...I like it all and plan to buy it.....I feel that like most of us authors who aren't well healed, the publicity is truly missing. Without TV time, a major star picking it up for a movie, Oprah recommending it....we are left in the mist of the morass of all authors out here. Now that I have had a "taste" of it I want to finish the dinner...thanks.Kathleen Boston McCunehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12098302883843934656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-16101704306790080082011-07-29T14:07:13.606-07:002011-07-29T14:07:13.606-07:00The cover is quite good--the graphics echo the tit...The cover is quite good--the graphics echo the title. As others have said, a bigger bolder font would make it easier to read.<br /><br />The blurb did its job of capturing my interest, although you almost lost me a couple of times in wandering transitions. The opener also needs some tightening--the info dump graf could go and you could work in those details later with more drama. You've got a good setup and good writing that gets slightly bogged down in all the wandering. Just needs some tightening.Toni Dwigginshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08966880370654948991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-32598104226696307142011-07-29T09:32:41.101-07:002011-07-29T09:32:41.101-07:00I like the cover but it is kind of hard to read th...I like the cover but it is kind of hard to read the lettering over the blood. A professional designer could improve the contrast and still keep the cover feel.<br /><br />The blurb could be a bit stronger as well as the opening.<br /><br />Hitting up book bloggers and maybe trying a .99 sale could help too.<br /><br />Also, this is just me, but I never specify a font or size to anything I write. As long as the author doesn't specify a font or size then a nook or kindle owner can set their own preferences on their own device. It's actually more helpful to readers to do it that way.Charles Findlayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02121003383206892320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-81064305351630020872011-07-29T08:45:33.903-07:002011-07-29T08:45:33.903-07:00I like the cover, but don't like the title. I...I like the cover, but don't like the title. It's too long. ALso the blurb feels too long too and not intriguing enough--but maybe that's just because I thought it was too wordy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-84857955247453427822011-07-29T07:39:48.562-07:002011-07-29T07:39:48.562-07:00Keeping in line with JR Tomlin's comments, a l...Keeping in line with JR Tomlin's comments, a lot of authors engage in "throat-clearing", or writing a lot of preliminary stuff in the first chapter in order to get themselves into the story. Unfortunately, however, it often takes the reader out of the story.<br /><br />I do it all the time, but I always go back and eliminate that stuff once the first draft is finished. In fact, before I submitted my first published novel, I lopped off the entire first chapter, transforming chapter two into chapter one.<br /><br />If the info-dump at the end of the sample is an indication of what lies ahead, Gail might want to consider major work with the chainsaw.Mike Dennishttp://mikedennisnoir.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-48232634729270245042011-07-28T22:59:09.840-07:002011-07-28T22:59:09.840-07:00Gail is having trouble leaving a comment, so she a...Gail is having trouble leaving a comment, so she asked that I tell you all thank you. She really appreciates all of the comments and suggestions. And a special thank you to Stuart for putting her book in your TBR pile! :)Victorinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-67026990630799813092011-07-28T22:15:34.920-07:002011-07-28T22:15:34.920-07:00I like the basic cover design in terms of the imag...I like the basic cover design in terms of the image. But I'm not wild about the typography.<br /><br />I have read "FOR EVERY ACTION" okay, but "there are consequences" is hard to make out at all.<br /><br />The author's name also isn't very legible.<br /><br />I think the title isn't necessarily a "grabber," either.<br /><br />"For Every Action There are Consequences" is kind of ho-hum. A bit cliche, generic. Like something your parent might tell you when you're getting chewed out for acting like a five-year-old idiot... even when you're five years old, LOL.<br /><br />I think a punchier title might be an aid to you.<br /><br />The blurb doesn't help me; I'm not sure there's enough distance from the 1968 Dem Convention to make it an appealing backdrop for a novel, even though there are times that's been attempted already.<br /><br />And I'm not sure, from the blurb, why it's there, really. The summary doesn't tie the '68 DemCon to the plot of the story, making it necessary that it happened then and there. So it just comes off as random information.<br /><br />But yeah, both the title and the blurb need a shot of adrenaline and excitement.<br /><br />Hard for me to suggest a better title without knowing the novel, though. Same goes for the blurb; without knowing the novel, I hesitate to say, "Write it like this..."Craig Hansenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16087185187054536025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-12823864601300348462011-07-28T21:41:59.505-07:002011-07-28T21:41:59.505-07:00If I were writing this, Id have her actually in th...If I were writing this, Id have her actually in the investigation, as J.R.Tomlin suggests. You need action, or at least movement or tension, right at the opening.<br />Supervisor giving an assignment on Friday & helping herself to goodies on your desk is annoying, but not Thrilling.<br />Fill in the background after we are into the story, wanting to find out what really happened.Philip van Wulvenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08982189741313001495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-60010448351642126852011-07-28T21:31:27.589-07:002011-07-28T21:31:27.589-07:00Hi, my first post here. I enjoyed reading your sam...Hi, my first post here. I enjoyed reading your sample and hope my comments are helpful. Good luck to you.<br /><br />If this was my cover, I would do more work on it. (1) The letters in the title and your name are too small. In a thumbnail they would be almost impossible to read. I would make the letters a LOT bigger, leave them where they are, but float them over the images. (2) There's too much white space. I would make everything bigger -- bigger cityscape almost to the top of the cover, bigger title floating over the image, take the blood down so it covered more of the white space, and your name a lot bigger on the bottom. <br /><br />Your writing seems good, but I can see two things you could work on: (1) The beginning starts with explanations. The scene would have more impact if you dropped us in the middle instead of telling us about it. I would rework the first sentence so it had more punch. (2) The sample doesn't give me a sense about Pepper's personality. I need to care about her or be interested in her enough to want to find out what happens to her.<br /><br />Again, your writing seems good and I wish you well.Holly Grantnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5142930702674170471.post-62467846781910027552011-07-28T21:11:29.696-07:002011-07-28T21:11:29.696-07:00If it were me, I'd skip the whole buildup thin...If it were me, I'd skip the whole buildup thing. She's an insurance investigator which means she's going to get an assignment. Not a big deal and as Vicki points out we don't need to know and probably won't care about all that family stuff, or not at first until we get to know the character.<br /><br />How about starting where she actually starts the investigation? Authors have to watch "throat clearing", in other words doing some squirming while they get comfortable in the story. It should be cut when one does it. *smile*<br /><br />I like the cover. It does say mystery to me. I think the blurb could be tightened a bit, but it isn't bad. The problem seems to me that it may be that opening.J. R. Tomlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01109874615059334200noreply@blogger.com